girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
