youre lurking in front of me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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