They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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