she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize