I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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