Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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