Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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