Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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