My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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