Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I am available for nakedness
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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