I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
