If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
