you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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