Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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