I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
