I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize