hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
