I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
