I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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