Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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