I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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