North Korea, Best Korea!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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