Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
