I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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