Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
