Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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