During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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