I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
