so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
