Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
