I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
