I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No I am not eating basil off your cock
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just gargled with NyQuil
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
