WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
