u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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