Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize