They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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