What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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