I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
