I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
