You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
