I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Randomize
