ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
