Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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