so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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