Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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