I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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