My room smells like vodka and shame
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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