I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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