awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
