Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
