So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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