Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
