Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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