Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
