were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize