At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
