So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
