Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize