Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize