id be glad to
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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