If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
