Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
