drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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