Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We named our party play list daddy issues
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
