Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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