A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
