it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
