yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
