I'm really into asian looking animals
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
