It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
