whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
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