i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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