Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
