I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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