so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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