dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
