Porn is love you can see.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
